Theo. – What can we do to help a child spiritually?
The Elder. – First of all, we must be aware that we are welcoming a soul and recognize it as a heart-to-heart communication, as a soul whose destiny has to be respected, without interfering, and just accompany it on its path of life with all the love and attention we can offer. A child does not belong to us; it has only been entrusted to us.
Theo. – With this in mind, what will the parents find the most difficult to do?
The Elder. – Avoid interfering while being totally present.
Theo. – Which means?
The Elder. – Attempting true love.
Theo. – Is it that difficult?
The Elder. – Raising a child is wonderful, but it is also a complete mystery. You can easily feel desperate, all the more as you try to do your level best.
Theo. – A real mystery, just as God is to man!
The Elder. – The other, whether it is your child, your spouse, one of your parents or even worse, yourself, is always a mystery. Do you know yourself? Who does? The unconscious in us is so important…
When facing a child, we are facing the unknown, the mystery of an aspiring soul. Our only asset is our heart and our greatest force is Love.
Theo. – And what about intelligence?
The Elder. – Intelligence is useless when the matter is how to know what is best for our child. It should keep us humble. On a daily basis, we can generally manage, but as for the essential, we are quite powerless and realize we don’t really understand.
Theo. – Aren’t the parents supposed to be educators too?
The Elder. – Of course they are. I talked about it with Elea, who was a teacher. She cared for children who were in difficult circumstances. According to her, we have to create a safe environment where the children will feel secure, following simple and smart rules as a reference, and then let the kids totally free within that framework, while listening to whatever they have to say, paying attention to their needs and respecting their rhythm.
Theo. – And what do you think education should be like?
The Elder. – It still raises questions to me. What I know is that a father and a mother will create a loving and kind environment for their child, a nourishing vibratory field around him. I mostly believe in discreetly setting an example that will allow the child to progressively build up his or her personality. Education is a must, but it should not become a sort of format, of conditioning. Spiritually, the soul must be free to realize itself without any constraints.
Theo. – Doesn’t it sound paradoxical?
The Elder. – It might, but take the example of the magic word we demand from our children every time we do something for them; in India, thanking one’s mother for the meal she is serving us would be impolite and could even shock and hurt her.
In India again, eating with one’s fingers is seemly, whereas in Europe parents strive for their child to use a spoon, then a fork, even if the kid’s only desire is to use its fingers.
Here is another example: some psychologists claim a baby should have its own bedroom as soon as possible, whereas in the East, a baby must remain in contact with its mother’s body at least for a year after it was born.
Theo. – Why?
The Elder. – In the East, they say that it takes a full year for the baby’s spirit to be completely incarnated, because it is between two worlds and needs to be held in its mother’s arms as long as possible, which will help its incarnation. Having spent nine months being constantly connected to its mother, how could it suddenly be separated from her and learn properly how to be independent? What the baby needs above all is its mother’s milk and love.
Theo. – There was a time when they would even recommend that women did not breastfeed their children. Nowadays, breastfeeding is advised again, and not only because it is way to strengthen the baby’s immune system; it seems that a baby who has been breastfed long enough is more balanced and becomes independent more easily.
The Elder. – The baby is afraid of being far away from its mother. Separation is so frightening that it makes the baby cry and call for help.
Theo. – But what can mothers do once they are back to work after a maternity leave? Many mothers live it as a necessary but heart-breaking loss.
The Elder. – Then the baby needs to be in loving arms as much as possible and above all, if ever the mother has to entrust the baby to a nanny or to a childcare facility, she should maintain a mental and heart connection with her babe when she is away. As long as it is maintained, the baby will feel the psychic bond and will take comfort from it. But if it cannot feel its mum anymore, then it can feel really desperate.
Theo. – What sort of spiritual education have you been given when you were a child?
The Elder. – The best that can be. My parents had a spiritual consciousness, though they did not belong to any religion. They were free thinkers and kept clear of any form of social or religious dogmatism. I can remember that, from an early age, I would regularly and naturally speak about God with my mother.
Theo. – What topics would you discuss?
The Elder. – No idea. I only know that God was at the centre of my life.
Theo. – Did you have any particular practice?
The Elder. – I did. On Fridays, at 5 p.m., I regularly practiced group Hatha-Yoga. I was twelve years old then.
Theo. – Did they already organize lessons for kids then?
The Elder. No, they didn’t. I was the only kid among the adults.
Theo. – Was it a determining factor?
The Elder. – It was a whole set of circumstances. First, there was the spiritual and harmonious atmosphere my parents had created. Then, a turning point for my family was when they both agreed to become vegetarians. Such a change and my yoga practice allowed me to take a giant leap into consciousness and intelligence.
Theo. – How can you explain it?
The Elder. – It’s due to Asthanga Yoga.
Without being aware of it, we used to practice yama-nyama, even though we were living in the Northern Parisian suburbs, the famous 9-3 where atheism was the rule. My family lived within a spiritual bubble. My parents regularly met a group called ‘Living harmoniously’. There, the group members used to share what they thought of the ayurveda natural healing ways. They all ate organic food and their concern was for universality. They followed various spiritual paths and talked about them.
Theo. – Had not your parents any religious background?
The Elder. – They believed in God. My mother enjoyed seeing herself as a spiritual anarchist. They both read a lot and met Rosicrucians, theosophists, members of the Anthroposophical Society, members of the Martinist Order, Jews, Christians, but they would not join any of those and stick to God only, directly, without any go-between. Master Jesus was particularly close to their hearts.
My father loved reading Swami Vivekananda’s works, whereas my mother felt closer to Saint Therese of Avila. They would both spend hours listening to Krishnamurti’s teachings.
Theo. – Were you interested?
The Elder. – I met Krishnamurti in Paris when I was eleven. Then I thought that I was going to meet my Master, but in my heart I did not feel the positive momentum I expected, so I was somewhat disappointed. On the other hand, for some time we went to listen to the Rosicrucians’ teachings and I found it was fascinating.
Theo. – Could you be more precise about the influence yoga has had on you?
The Elder. – I was a teenager and my life was mentally and physically as pure as it could be. Becoming a vegetarian has made me feel lighter on the vibratory level. My mind has become more efficient and my intellect more powerful. When I was thirteen, I became a very good student, whereas my primary school records had been rather poor, and my sensory qualities began to develop.
Theo. – Which qualities?
The Elder. – Intuition and telepathy. I used to practice empathy by getting the schoolmates who did not like me to become good friends of mine, for instance. Within myself, I also would try and feel my teachers and analyze their psychologies in order to better understand what they were expecting from us. I became very good at gymnastics, as yoga had me gain in strength, flexibility and balance.
Theo. – Was it due to the asanas?
The Elder. – Yes, but also to Breath Control and to the energy the pranayama system will help you release. The yoga we practiced was rather acrobatic, which enchanted the teenager I was.
Theo. – How could such a practice have had a spiritual impact and helped you develop your sensory capacities?
The Elder. – Each posture is related to a chakra. We combine it with a breathing practice (pranayama), which would take the proper energy right to the organ and the chakra containing powers and many other potential benefits.
Theo. – Wasn’t it dangerous for the child you were?
The Elder. – Not at all, because our practice was well balanced, including positions and counter-positions. We would apply that to each chakra in its turn. Our retentions were moderate and never touched the kundalini.
Theo. – Did that bring you any other results?
The Elder. – I acquired the concept of hard work and of mastering pain. We would hold a posture to the limit of what is tolerable. The results obtained were good. The guided relaxation in the posture known as ‘the corpse pose’ was a significant one. It gave me an inner vision of my body and my mind would naturally go towards an inner vacuum, which was a good preparation for meditating.
Theo. – So, all the plans of your being were nourished. Each chakra was opened and energized, and your capacities have been able to develop. That would give anyone a taste for practicing yoga. Did you go on practicing it for a long time?
The Elder. – Intermittently, until I was twenty-two. When I was in the Faculty of Medicine I used to run free yoga courses.
Theo. – Why?
The Elder. – Because it would engage me in my own practice.
Theo. – How old were you when you began to meditate?
The Elder. – Sixteen or seventeen I think.
Theo. – What did incite you to do it?
The Elder. – My longing for God and some logical conclusions. I wanted to live through what mystics, yogis and saints had lived through. I could not just read reports of their spiritual deeds. So, meditating appeared to be the only way.
Theo. – In order to live it inside yourself?
The Elder. – Yoga had taught me how to concentrate, breathe, release energy, have my senses withdraw; the next step was dhyana, the meditation to go towards God within oneself. I exercised, all by myself. It was difficult. I used to meditate on ajna-chakra, and when I realized that the number of places to be explored was infinite, I got lost. Then I came to the conclusion that I needed a spiritual master who would guide me in my quest for God.
Theo. – And then?
The Elder. – I told my mother, who said: “When the disciple is ready, the Master comes.” She suggested my father and I should meditate every day for twenty minutes and ask God for a spiritual guide.
A few months later, through a Sahaj Marg aspirant, I got in touch with my spiritual Master: Shri Ram Chandra, but that is another story.
Theophile the Elder
An excerpt from Dialogs with Theophile the Elder
Theophile the Younger’s initiation