{"id":4280,"date":"2018-10-30T06:00:15","date_gmt":"2018-10-30T05:00:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/theophilelancien.org\/?p=4280\/"},"modified":"2024-03-06T10:07:07","modified_gmt":"2024-03-06T09:07:07","slug":"anger-enemy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theophilelancien.org\/en\/anger-enemy\/","title":{"rendered":"How to deal with the anger one feels towards an enemy?"},"content":{"rendered":"

That morning, Theo was very agitated. He had hardly sat down, facing his friend, that he started exposing his problem:
\n\u2013 I have been developing intense anger all these years, due to a neighbour who had harmed my family and me. Hence I hate him and I can’t help it.<\/p>\n

The Elder looks at him, quite amazed.<\/p>\n

Theo. \u2013 Yes… I know. But it’s all about his wicked, twisted and unfair behaviour. I feel as if he were a chewing gum stuck on the sole of my shoe. I can’t get rid of it. As soon as I see the man, or if I merely think of him, my anger is back.<\/p>\n

The Elder \u2013 You are going to make yourself sick!<\/p>\n

Theo. \u2013 I’m already sick. My stomach hurts, there are moments when I feel oppressed and I often have a headache.<\/p>\n

\u2013 According to Chinese Medicine, the Liver Fire is what gives you such symptoms. They are caused by anger and resentment.
\nBut in your case, what did you really do?, the old man asked, for more information.<\/p>\n

Theo. \u2013 I went to court to assess my rights.<\/p>\n

The Elder \u2013 And what happened then? Did you win that legal fight against your adversary?<\/p>\n

Theo. \u2013 Legally, it was for me a win-win situation, but for my liking, he did not pay enough, considering all the harm he had done to me.<\/p>\n

The Elder \u2013 So the fight is still on. Your neighbour has succeeded in crossing your barriers and he is now partly occupying your inner space. You may also be in his mind, since you won your case against him. He probably hates you. Your anger is what provides access to his anger. Through your mental and emotional attitude, you have opened a way to his penetrating within you. So now he can overrun you, reach your heart and plague your life.<\/p>\n

Theo. \u2013 You make it sound like war!<\/p>\n

The Elder \u2013 Currently, your life is effectively in a constant state of war, so you’d better live it as a warrior would. This book, “The Art of War”<\/a>, by Sun Tzu, is traditional literature in China, and it is still in use in War Colleges in many countries, since strategy is first and foremost simple psychology. For example: making the adverse general angry is a clever trick, as it will destabilize him and confuse his mind, so that he won’t be able to clearly see the way the battle is engaged in, or to devise sustainable strategies. Being angry, he will tend to just charge ahead and seek revenge at all costs. Therefore, his engagement will have a weakness based on his own self-delusion, boldness and temerity. Some people will call it courage; but, in fact, an enemy is more easily defeated once you have provoked its anger and thus opened a breach.<\/p>\n

Theo. \u2013 But I have won!<\/p>\n

The Elder \u2013 Do you really think so?<\/p>\n

The Elder marked a pause while Theo seemed to be thinking the matter over.
\n\u2013 You have not won the emotional and the mental war, he says calmly. Once a warrior has won or lost his war, he agrees that the war has ended. He has no more enemy. He is in peace. So, he will only have to make himself ready for another battle, whenever it may come. Meanwhile, he practices peacefully.
\nThe only problem is that your head and your emotions go on fighting, which cuts you off from your heart. It might be tragic for you and your balance. Basically, your neighbour has shown you a significant weakness that still abides in yourself.<\/p>\n

\u2013 So now you are going to ask me to be very grateful to him I guess, interrupts Theo, nervously.<\/p>\n

The Elder (smiling<\/em>):
\n\u2013 That’s almost it! In fact, you should thank the Divine who let you see that weakness, that tendency you still have, and who gave you an opportunity to correct it. Then, your neighbour will become a mere indicator for you. That indicator could have been someone else or several other persons.
\nThe strength of your recurrent emotions is only a sign, a symptom of that weakness within you.<\/p>\n

Theo. \u2013\u00a0 But he was proven wrong, the young man said again, irritated.<\/p>\n

The Elder \u2013 So? You won, didn’t you, and justice was done. Then why should you continue the war…
\nI’m sorry I have to tell you, but that weakness of yours will be used against you by your enemy or by any other person. Any serious adversary will easily defeat you.<\/p>\n

Theo. \u2013 I don’t think so. I am strong and intelligent enough to know how to defend myself… Next you are going to tell me all about love again, aren’t you?<\/p>\n

The Elder \u2013 I might. Silence…
\n<\/em>Isn’t that what we’ve already done on many occasions in the past?<\/p>\n

The old man marked a pause again and remained quietly focused on his hotheaded friend. Then he said:
\n\u2013 The warrior instinct is in you. That is another way to approach the Divine, but it is a demanding one. Arjuna<\/a> is a good example of it, in the Bhagavad Gita<\/a>.<\/p>\n

But Theo.\u2019s anger was not soothed yet:
\n\u2013 I’d like to plague his life just as he has plagued mine. That\u2019s a fair return, isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n

The Elder tries to temper him:
\n\u2013 Let us keep calm, shall we? Some families have carried on their hatred through generations. Sometimes, they even forgot the root causes of such hatred, but their war has become a tradition and these families will hate each other forever.<\/p>\n

Theo. (sulking)<\/em> \u2013 So now you see me as a dunce.<\/p>\n

\u2013 More or less! the old man said mockingly.<\/p>\n

Theo. \u2013 Well! Now, do tell me. What would you do in this kind of situation?<\/p>\n

The Elder \u2013 I would take all necessary action to address it, on the purely physical side. Then, once it is done, I would forget all about it. Life is great. So it’s really worth living it completely, enjoying all the gifts it offers.<\/p>\n

Theo. \u2013 And what of the difficulties, the problems entailed?<\/p>\n

The Elder \u2013 I deal with them as best as can be. See what Marcus Aurelius<\/a> used to say about it:
\n“Please God, give me the courage to change the things
\nI can change,
\nthe serenity that will help me accept the things to which fate binds me,
\nand enough wisdom to discriminate
\none from the other.”
\n<\/em>Otherwise, I am happy under all circumstances, almost all of them at least…<\/p>\n

The old man realized that Theo\u2019s anger was one of the oldest and most enduring forms of anger. So he did not insist any more and he decided to think over all they had been talking about that day.<\/p>\n

Before leaving his friend, he said:
\n\u2013 Theo, an enemy is supposed to be fought on the battlefield. Once the war has ended, he is no longer an enemy for you. That is sheer chivalry, an art Lord Krishna taught to Arjuna in the Bhagavad Gita.<\/p>\n

Looking very thoughtful, Theo watched the Elder as he was going away after having thus invited his young friend to stay calm and serene.<\/p>\n

Theophile the Elder
\nAn excerpt from Dialogs with Theophile the Elder<\/em>
\nTheophile the Younger’s Initiation<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

That morning, Theo was very agitated. He had hardly sat down, facing his friend, that he started exposing his problem: \u2013 I have been developing intense anger all these years, due to a neighbour who had harmed my family and me. Hence I hate him and I can’t help it. The Elder looks at him, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":2925,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[600,405,393,378],"tags":[859,862,805,860,861],"class_list":["post-4280","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog-en","category-daily-life","category-lifestyle-recommended","category-theophile-the-youngers-initiation","tag-anger","tag-emotion-en","tag-enemy","tag-resentment","tag-weakness"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to deal with the anger one feels towards an enemy? - Th\u00e9ophile l'Ancien<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I have been developing intense anger all these years. 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Il a grandi dans un environnement favorisant, avec des parents tr\u00e8s ouverts. Dans sa jeunesse, il a ressenti le besoin de rencontrer un ma\u00eetre spirituel pour \u00eatre guid\u00e9 dans sa qu\u00eate de l'Ultime. Sa rencontre avec Shri Ram Chandra (Babuji) sera fondatrice. Sur ses pas, il pratique la voie du Sahaj Marg pendant 40 ans. Gr\u00e2ce \u00e0 la m\u00e9ditation du c\u0153ur, \u00e0 la pri\u00e8re et \u00e0 la contemplation, il a approfondi sa relation \u00e0 Dieu. Il conserve un vif int\u00e9r\u00eat pour toutes les traditions spirituelles authentiques, qu'il \u00e9tudie et unifie dans le message universel qu'il transmet dans ses enseignements : chacun d'entre nous est une voie d'acc\u00e8s pour aller \u00e0 Dieu. Et pour cheminer, Patrick nous propose la voie privil\u00e9gi\u00e9e de l'amour - sagesse. Son exp\u00e9rience personnelle, ses connaissances et ses enseignements sont partag\u00e9es au travers de vid\u00e9os disponibles sur sa cha\u00eene et son site : En Chemin avec Th\u00e9ophile l'Ancien.","url":"https:\/\/theophilelancien.org\/en\/author\/p-fleury\/"}]}},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/112-Comment-faire-avec-la-col%C3%A8re-envers-lennemi.jpg?fit=1920%2C1440&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4571,"url":"https:\/\/theophilelancien.org\/en\/an-instant-of-confusion\/","url_meta":{"origin":4280,"position":0},"title":"An instant of confusion","author":"Patrick Fleury","date":"06\/02\/2019","format":false,"excerpt":"On that afternoon, Theo was in a surly disposition when he arrived. The Elder said nothing and waited patiently as his friend was keeping his hands - and heart - warm with a cup of tea. Theo. \u2013 At times I feel so keen to achieve better outcomes that it\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/theophilelancien.org\/en\/category\/blog-en\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"instant de confusion","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/129-instant-de-confusion.jpg?fit=1200%2C789&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/129-instant-de-confusion.jpg?fit=1200%2C789&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/129-instant-de-confusion.jpg?fit=1200%2C789&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/129-instant-de-confusion.jpg?fit=1200%2C789&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/129-instant-de-confusion.jpg?fit=1200%2C789&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4185,"url":"https:\/\/theophilelancien.org\/en\/positive-psychology-part-5-positive-thought\/","url_meta":{"origin":4280,"position":1},"title":"Positive Psychology Part 5 – Positive Thought","author":"Patrick Fleury","date":"29\/09\/2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Theo. \u2013 I have heard much talk about positive thought as a means to attract and obtain everything we can desire in our lives. Do you see in it any link with Positive Psychology? The Elder \u2013 Let us start with Positive Thought. The human beings have diverted the law\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/theophilelancien.org\/en\/category\/blog-en\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"099-Psychologie positive pens\u00e9e positive","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/violet-15.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/violet-15.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/violet-15.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/violet-15.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/violet-15.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4566,"url":"https:\/\/theophilelancien.org\/en\/secret-of-humility\/","url_meta":{"origin":4280,"position":2},"title":"The secret of humility","author":"Patrick Fleury","date":"02\/02\/2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Theo. \u2013 You claim that only experience will let you grasp Reality. The Elder \u2013 Yes indeed! Reflection comes later, thanks to the being's higher consciousness. Through meditation, you seek to create a propitious environment within yourself, so as to make the whole process possible. Theo. \u2013 It's not always\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/theophilelancien.org\/en\/category\/blog-en\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Le secret de l'humilit\u00e9","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/128-Le-secret-de-lhumilit%C3%A9.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/128-Le-secret-de-lhumilit%C3%A9.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/128-Le-secret-de-lhumilit%C3%A9.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/128-Le-secret-de-lhumilit%C3%A9.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/128-Le-secret-de-lhumilit%C3%A9.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4414,"url":"https:\/\/theophilelancien.org\/en\/raja-yoga-way-love\/","url_meta":{"origin":4280,"position":3},"title":"Raja-yoga or the Way of Love","author":"Patrick Fleury","date":"05\/12\/2018","format":false,"excerpt":"The Elder \u2013 Here we are dealing with a more advanced stage. The lotus of the heart is oriented upwards in order to receive the grace. Theo. \u2013 Do you mean we have reached Point 4, the point of fire? The Elder \u2013 As a matter of fact, that point\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/theophilelancien.org\/en\/category\/blog-en\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"raja-yoga voie de l'amour","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/122-raja-yoga-voie-de-lamour.jpg?fit=1200%2C673&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/122-raja-yoga-voie-de-lamour.jpg?fit=1200%2C673&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/122-raja-yoga-voie-de-lamour.jpg?fit=1200%2C673&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/122-raja-yoga-voie-de-lamour.jpg?fit=1200%2C673&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/122-raja-yoga-voie-de-lamour.jpg?fit=1200%2C673&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4241,"url":"https:\/\/theophilelancien.org\/en\/theo-trainer-4-conducting-meditation\/","url_meta":{"origin":4280,"position":4},"title":"Theo becomes a trainer, part 4, conducting meditation","author":"Patrick Fleury","date":"28\/10\/2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Theo. I brooded over what you taught me last time and I understand perfectly how important it is for me to erase myself and leave room for the Divine within me. Yet, the fact of having to retreat completely is somehow disturbing to me: it makes me feel that I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blog"","block_context":{"text":"Blog","link":"https:\/\/theophilelancien.org\/en\/category\/blog-en\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"h\u00e9o formateur 4 comment donner un sitting","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/140-Th%C3%A9o-formateur-4-comment-donner-un-sitting.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/140-Th%C3%A9o-formateur-4-comment-donner-un-sitting.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/140-Th%C3%A9o-formateur-4-comment-donner-un-sitting.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/140-Th%C3%A9o-formateur-4-comment-donner-un-sitting.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/140-Th%C3%A9o-formateur-4-comment-donner-un-sitting.jpg?fit=1200%2C675&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2538,"url":"https:\/\/theophilelancien.org\/en\/a-master\/","url_meta":{"origin":4280,"position":5},"title":"A Master","author":"Patrick Fleury","date":"03\/06\/2017","format":false,"excerpt":"After the experience he had in the mountain, Theo would like to develop further the notion of having a Master. Theo. \u2013 Your friend Malik had really clarified for me the high spiritual competence of a Master of Wisdom, but the experience I've had in the mountain allowed me to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Dialogues"","block_context":{"text":"Dialogues","link":"https:\/\/theophilelancien.org\/en\/category\/dialogues\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"073-ma\u00eetre","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/073-un-ma%C3%AEtre.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/073-un-ma%C3%AEtre.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/073-un-ma%C3%AEtre.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/073-un-ma%C3%AEtre.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theophilelancien.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/02\/073-un-ma%C3%AEtre.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theophilelancien.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4280","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theophilelancien.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theophilelancien.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theophilelancien.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theophilelancien.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4280"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/theophilelancien.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4280\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11782,"href":"https:\/\/theophilelancien.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4280\/revisions\/11782"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theophilelancien.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2925"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theophilelancien.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4280"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theophilelancien.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4280"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theophilelancien.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4280"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}